How to Balance Between Your Baby and Older Children?

Curated by vivien

February 10, 2023


Neglected older child

It can seem hard to get every child dressed, fed and bathed while still spending meaningful time with them when you give birth and have older kids at home.

Your baby will be completely reliant on you for everything, including feeding, bathing and changing diapers, so you’ll undoubtedly spend a lot of time taking care of your newborn. As a result, the other children can feel left out, which could spark sibling rivalry right away.

You shouldn’t neglect your other kids completely because of the birth of your newborn baby. Keep in mind that they also require your attention and care. How well parents handle this critical stage will substantially influence the extent of sibling rivalry and its associated effects.

As a new mother, you can continue to love and pay attention to your older kids while also taking care of your newborn and keeping the family united. Here are some ideas for giving your baby and other children equal attention.

Ways to Balance Between Your Older Child and Baby

Make the older child feel valued

Older child helping out

When visiting the newborn baby, astute visitors who are aware of sibling rivalry will also purchase a present for the older child. If this doesn’t happen, prepare a few presents for the older child to receive when guests shower the baby with gifts and praise. Let her open the gifts and play with the rattles.

Give your child a role in the household, such as “mom’s helper” or “mom’s assistant”. This will assist in removing the child from the “I wish I were a newborn, too” state of mind.

Your child can assist you to change diapers and bring the milk bottle and clothes which are out of mommy’s reach. You can reward her for her assistance as a show of appreciation. And when a guest remarks, ‘What a gorgeous baby”, immediately follow it up with, “In fact, now we have two amazing babies.”

Additionally, you might request the child to sing lullabies to the baby. This encourages the child and the newborn to become closer. You can be sure that your youngster will pick up some housekeeping skills along the way.



Sharing a mother with a newborn irritates the older child a lot. Since their mother is their most valued possession, sharing is foreign to young children under the age of three. Therefore, when the newborn requires the majority of their mother’s attention, they are prone to experience resentment.

It may sound wonderful to promise your older child the same amount of love and care, but in practice, it may not be necessary or realistic. There is a lot of upkeep required for newborns, and you can’t split yourself in two to give elsewhere.

To free up your hands, think about using a baby sling to carry your new baby. Then you can play a game with your older child. As an alternative, read a book together to the baby while feeding the baby.

Put your baby in a car seat as the baby grows and gets older, so she can see you play with her big brother or sister. As a result, you’ll be keeping two youngsters entertained at once.

Do not drastically alter your child’s routine

Parents and kids playing

Undoubtedly, having a newborn means you can no longer take care of some of your family’s responsibilities, like dinner preparation, laundry, ironing and picking up your child from school every morning.

Using a confinement nanny’s service is a smart solution. While you take the older child to school or go shopping, the lady can take care of the housework, cook meals and look after the baby. This serves as a buffer against the anxiety brought on by so many changes and uncertainties.


Parents can reduce the likelihood of sibling conflict and foster a strong family tie by using the aforementioned advice. By hiring confinement nannies, parents can also make life easier for themselves and give all of their children equal attention. Therefore, contact us if you need confinement service.


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